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Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Folks, if a fast-food store manager tells you he needs to strip-search you, pop him in the eye.

Over the last five years some perv in northern Florida has been calling up fast food restaurants (that would include Applebee's) and saying he was a police detective. The guy purports that a suspect is in the managers restaurant and must be nabbed immediately. The phone cop gives a description, usually of a young female, and what type of contraband the suspect is carrying: a stolen pocket watch, drugs, etc. The manager never seems to catch on and follows the caller's directions all the way through a strip-search, that may even include a cavity search.

This con has successfully worked at dozens of restaurants around the country. Burger King has paid out $35000 to one of the victims of these strip-searchs. It would seem hard to believe a manager of a franchise would fall for such a goofy con, unless you have worked in the fast food world for more than 10 minutes. Then you know that a high percentage of fast food managers are there for a reason, and that reason is they are flat-faced one-dimensional thinkers with the depth equal to spittle in the bottom of a beer bottle. Unfortunately the best fast food manager is going to be a lower-middle level order taker with the idea that he/she has risen to the top of the fast-food chug train and whose sole enjoyment in life is to boss people around. The fast-food manager has the uneviable position of only being able to boss people so long before they jump ship and go down to Arby's to sell chunked beef.

So it isn't to surprising that some former fast-food employee has decided to have some fun by plugging in to the automated side of Taco Bell Tyrant, the Burger King Boss, the Subway Saddam.

Source Indianapolis Star

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Last night m'lady and eye went to the Cath Cafe to see our good friend Steve Feldman play his guitar. Steve writes his own and sings them with gusto. The opening act from Burlington, Vermont, was a guy named Gregory Douglass (not the Greg of the Steve Miller Band - - much younger) and his sidekick bassman. Douglass has a great voice and can really write. And for you ladies out there, he has amazing breath control, if you like the small slim dark type.

Dillsboro Homecoming Fest April 28 thru May 1.
(Bonnaroo of SE Indiana)

Frog-jumping contests. Homemade Ice Cream. RIDES.

In addition to traditional carnival rides, games and food booths, the four-day festival features a variety of entertainment options, including live music in the evenings and a gigantic street parade on Saturday. Also on the agenda is a large number of crazy contests, including the ever-popular frog jumping and best-dressed frog competitions. Other zany activities include a baby contest, bed races, bean bag toss, pedal-tractor pull, Twinkie-eating contest and more. For car enthusiasts, a classic car show and “ugly truck” contest are also planned. Be there or be square.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

an Ode to the snoz

itchy eyes, itchy nose
that is how it goes
the burst of Spring is upon u
So what are u to do

I guess is moving time for baby catepillars
that I find to have taken up in your head
don't despair, Oh no don't breathe too much air
hopefully the buds will die down a little
until then hang tough

moving signs can PoP up with a little planning and care
some nasal drainage will set u free

until then, please don't drown in the mucus sludge
remember your comrads are here to hear your pleas
we feel your pain and unite

DRY THE SNOT!
is our chant



see ya later in OZ


Val Gal

Augmentin Antibiotic Angst.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Letter: Advertising overexposure
Beth Krejsa - Muncie

Recently, while taking my family out to eat, we happened to drive by Pleasures at Nichols and Godman Streets. It was dark out, and right next to its neon "Open" sign there was a window with blinds open to reveal a seemingly five-foot penis.

I had to stop at the stop sign, and as I did, my 5-year-old daughter asked me what it was she was looking at. I was infuriated with the fact that there we were, on a public street having to stop at a stop sign and lo and behold, there stands a giant fake penis for all to see.

It is bad enough that our kids' impressionable minds are assaulted on a daily basis by various media with sexual imagery, but this is unconscionable.

The bottom line is that the business owner should take responsibility for this and consider that children might be seeing something they shouldn't.

I would like to see a city ordinance prohibiting businesses such as these from this type of advertising. I plan to follow up on this, and I suggest that if you care about what your children are exposed to, other parents should follow up with this, as well.

March 23, 2004 Letter to the Editor --- Muncie Star Press found by George Shumar

Plan to attend the first annual Indiana Higher Education Cybersecurity Summit, co-sponsored by Indiana University and Notre Dame University. The Summit will provide an opportunity for Indiana's leaders in higher education, information technology, and cybersecurity, as well as legal consultants, K-12 policy makers, and state government representatives, to share best practices, research, trends, and innovations related to the challenge of securing academia's collective cyberspace.

When: Friday, March 26, 9am-5pm (EST)
Where: University Place Conference Center, IUPUI

Keynote speaker is (the) Richard Clarke, internationally-recognized expert on homeland and national security, security, cybersecurity, and counter-terrorism, and former senior White House terrorism czar.

Should be fun! I need to run out and purchase Richard Clark's book and have him sign it.
Ha!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

The work nourishes us with an ecstatic visual feast inviting us into a
ritualistic symbolism. I feel helpless as old women collapse into each
other's arms as if their sons had sailed away from them for the last time.
Talk amongst the Bloomsbury clique paints a startling picture naked and
unadorned.

--- Found while looking through Usenet for advice on a troubling maxillary sinus.

And Jo found this link to an Ossuary in Sedlec, which is a suburb in the outskirts of the Czech town Kutna Hora.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Jeep: Look at this site again tonite. PHOTO MATT

Why do all of these people get to to SXSW?

Star Trek Rules!
Found the above at Engadget, a site talking about strang and wonderful new devices: Toshiba's record breaking tiny 4 GB hard drive (.85 inch length) and the Philips fluidfocus lens which works like the human eye.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Folks, P2P telephony is here and it is free.
If you have DSL or Cable Modem (or in Cincy: Hi-Energy Electrical Networking (FRYNET),
I need you to go out today and surf to http://www.skype.com/home.html

There you can download the free SKYPE app which works a little like instant messaging,
but instead it lets you make free internet phone calls to others her have SKYPE.
All you need is your PC sound system or headphones and a mic.

Its free, easy, and sounds pretty good.

Oh, its ad-free, sounds like a phone call, is encrypted, and there are unlimited free calls.
And you can do conference calls.

Jeep


Saturday, March 13, 2004

GBV and The Rovers of Mars
As part of NASA's history, each morning's mission begins with a wake up song that gets beamed up to the appropriate unit. On March 6th, Mars rover Spirit had the pleasure of having GBV's Motor Away beamed up to start the day.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

The Basque: here are a few things that used to come to mind: dying language, sheepherders, garlic bread soup, saffron mussels. Their terror organization, the ETA, is allegedly reponsable for over 800 deaths in the last 35 years, yet recently it's been said they were under control. They had a distinctive habit of issuing a warning prior to attack. They seldom attack civilians. The one notable time they strayed from this, they issued a formal apology(for bombing a supermarket). At this time they are not claiming responsibility for the atrocity commited in Madrid. Some people are wondering aloud if perhaps those in power are being too quick to blame them...

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Tell me what could be more magical, yet simple, than a kite. Sunday, although a bit grey and quite chilly, we took our 45 ft kite out to Garfield Park and watched it spin, loop, dance. Felt the blast of cold wind riffling hair and numbing cheeks. Two others were flying kites as well- one a traditional diamond shape, the other an elaborate fighter-jet with propellers and smoke trail. The experience made me want to learn more about flying; made me want to try different kites.

Today while I was listening to Artie Shaw while waiting for a client to show. Morgan's visit from the Bay last week and the music I was listening to made me think about our early days, me and Abby living in Tudor Court in Clifton. Warm summer afternoons, maybe a Sunday, listening to "When Swing Was King" on WVXU.

Going down to the Cove for a drink. Meeting Abby afterwork at Keller's IGA.

Finally we got that Morgan Jones out of our hair. Him and his whacky California ideas. Plus he's just no fun to hand around with. You have to twist his arm to go out and have fun.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Yanked out my first white hair today. Of course it was in my beard. I only yanked it because it was behaving badly and kept sticking out.

And me old problem, alopecia areata is back. A small blank spot near my coronal suture at on my frontal bone.
Just a comb-over do yuh.



Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Holy Smokes!

Marge Schott is Dead. Marge has gone around the bend. Meetin' up with Schottzie.
The Queen City must mourn their 'queen'.

I remember the only words Marge ever said to me.

A warm evening in June of 1990. I was selling beer by the bottle, lugging two cases through the blue seats at Riverfront Stadium. Lotsa families at the ballpark to see the Mighty Reds. I approached the seats where Marge usually sits, but the aisle was half filled with children waiting to pet Schottzie and get Marge's autograph. I hesitated to go down the aisle, but then Marge began to wave at me yelling "Hey sonny, come on down here. These folks need beer."

Balancing the cases of beer, I navigated around the tots sitting in the aisle. With cigarette dangling from her lips, Marge added, "Don't worry about these kids. They'll get out of your way. Heh, heh."

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