altad jeepsta 2009

I wish I could capture the quality of light right now. It is a lovely shadowless flat twilight that followed a sunset of ice blues and salmon pinks. The air was warm as I walked around the neighborhood, and everything seemed to respond to that warmth. A bat fluttered over a gravel drive hunting the sluggish black moths. A first year robin tested its voice, first with a hoarse scolding chirp, then with the classic spring song in halting phrases. I needed some beauty today. A co-worker who helped me through cancer was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. He had Hodgkin's disease ten years ago. Fear of secondary cancer grips the heart of any survivor like a cold secret. Of course it is difficult to tell if this is a secondary cancer, and the medical establishment applies life saving tactics first and asks questions later. The answers are published in journals undecipherable to the layman or survivor, and that cold secret is left to be contemplated some other day.