Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Relapse Heebie-jeebies have got me in their spell. It grips an ex-cancer patient like a python. In a few weeks I begin the rounds of testing to discern my cleanliness, and therefor in association I feel in fear every lump in a lymph cluster wondering if it is ready to explode in a crazed tumor-bomb. It is difficult once under the spell of fear to be rational and recite the chances of relapse(15% or less) that should lead me on the path of comfort... The mind does enjoy playing games with itself. Rational thought goes out the door, and no one, save other ex-cancer patients, can talk about it with any understanding. Oh deliver me from this fear!!!
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